Featured Driver

Hello fellow wheelmen! Here I am spilling my guts. I tried to give you folks some (hopefully) fun and interesting reading, especially after those two sad messages we had recently. Here we go:

Q: First thing I gotta ask. Your Gamertag is Handsome Van but your user name here on the boards is Van Hengel. What's up with that?

A: Ah, well you see, I bought an xbox 360 just under two years ago just to play the Halo3 campaign; to find out how it ended with the Master Chief. I knew very little about online gaming at that time. It seemed like something fun to do but I had no clue actually how to arrange it for myself. Then, when I examined my xbox more closely I saw that the modem plug-in looked exactly like the one on my pc! So I took the cable from my pc and stuck it into my xbox and sure enough, it worked! I quickly grabbed my credit card and went on to set up an account. When I had to enter a “gamertag” I just entered my full last name “Van Hengel”. I had no clue you were supposed to enter some cool-sounding alias. So later when I had found that out and wanted to change it people were already calling me Van. Handome Van seemed a nicely provocative eleboration on that. As in: “well, mr MLGProSniper34 you may be a 50 and about to kick my ass in Team Slayer but when that’s over I am still handsome and you are not.”. I never changed my forum name though. Here in the intimacy of our little corner of the web I feel safe and don’t need to wear the mask of Handsome. I can be myself with you guys. There is so much love here.

Q: Alrighty, now introduce yourself! How old are you, where are you from, and what do you do for a living?

A: I just turned 31 and my birthday is the same as Jammy’s! How sweet is that huh? For a living I teach physics to 14-15 year-olds at a school in the city center of Amsterdam four days a week. I love that job and try to be the best possible teacher. I am pretty strict when it come to classroom order and demand reasonable discipline from my students but also try to make physics as fun as it can be. Every year I love one of my lessons on motion in which I determine the speed of a cork shot by a small indoor-version of a potato gun and every year in spring, in a lesson on the phases of matter totally devoted to dry ice, I detonate a dry ice bomb on the sports field. My students always love that. I have been wanting to film it for some time. This year I really should/will.

Q: How did you find H3WM? What brought you to our vast greatness?

A: I had heard about clans but always thought they were groups of bullies dominating the playlists. When I read about you on Bungie.net I saw there were also good clans and that there was even one devoted to my beloved BTB/warthog! That’s when I joined. “Finally some people who have a mic and know how to use it” I thought. Now only if there were also at least a few among them that had two brain cells to rub together but… I guess that is still to much to ask huh? Well, I guess I’ll take it.

Q: What games are you currently playing? Which is your favorite? What game do you play most with other H3WM?

A: Halo 3 is still the number one game for me. I do play MW2 occasionally and I love the smooth controls and good looks of that game but I sorely miss the positional play, the more strategic gameflow and teamwork of Halo. I am looking forward to Bad Company 2 because I think it might appeal to Halo fans and MW2 fans alike. To me that game might be like MW2 but then with the teamwork and vehicular variety of Halo. I have high hopes for it because otherwise I have no choice but to wait for Reach. It could be I’m heading for a bit of a dry spell in gaming. Perhaps I can have my very own 40 days and 40 nights this summer?

Q: What's the funniest/coolest thing you can remember doing /seeing on XBL? How about with other H3WM?

A: Fun is always happening in Halo. I love all the random explosions and ragdoll physics of bodies and objects. I can’t remember one moment in particular except maybe once I got mongoose splattered (easily the most humilitating death, I think) on Valhalla. I didn’t say anything and hoped nobody had seen it when a few seconds later I heard Sarge: “OMG, Van, did you just get mongoose splattered? Lol.” Me sarge? Don’t be silly.

Q: Give us something personal that's happened to you in Real Life that you typically would only share with close friends. Anything embarrassing, funny or bad-ass you wanna dish out?

A: When I was about 19 or so I was still living with my parents. One day I bought two boxes with pear-flavored ice pops wich I had, of course, to keep in the freezer. My mother however denied me freezer space and insisted that I take them somewhere else. Having no choice I threw one box in the trash and ate the other one (about nine or so pops). I did not then know about the laxating effect of cold food and the next morning I was lying in bed on my left side and I felt a light pressure in my rectum usually associated with farting. Feeling like farting, I applied full force to expell what I thought would be hot gas but instead I shat a all over my bedsheets! The ice pops had turned my normally solid stools into an afwul brown liquid that squirted in a thick evil jet into the open! It took me a few seconds to let it sink in that I, at age 19, had once more crapped myself. Hardcore crapped myself. I tried to have my mother wash the sheets for me, told her it was her fault for not allowing me to store my goods in the freezer, but she would have none of it and I had to launder them myself. Yeah, that was quite the experience.

Q: Outside of H3WM.com, what other websites keep your attention? Where do you spend your free "surfin" time?

A: I like Giantbomb.com’s style of videogame reviewing and there is a comparable site in The Netherlands called Gamekings that is also very good, with experienced gamers of about my age giving thorough game reviews. Other than that I try to spend as little time behind the computer as possible. On a side note, although I rarely post on H3WM and never visit the shoutbox I check the forums about twice a day to see what’s going on so unlike you might think I consider myself a pretty dedicated member.

Q: Where would YOU like to see this community in 6 months? A year?

A: Well, I’m happy with the way thing are. My friends list is nicely loaded with fellow wheelmen. Things are a bit slow now but I’m sure they’ll pick up later this year. It would be cool if there were more community events going on though. Maybe a play-of-the-week video or something that everyone else can the comment on. With our render minutes it shouldn’t be hard to do. Or an armor contest. To see who’s got the best-looking armor. I think I might win that actually!  No really, anything that might raise the sense of community that I personally think is missing a bit right now (or am I missing something?).

Q: If you had the keys to Consumed's Ban-hammer for one day, what would you do with it's all mighty powa?

A: I would have a look at it from all angles. Feel it’s weight. Swing it around a few times. Try to get a sense of what it must be like to wield such a tool for real. I might also hold it between my legs for a few seconds. Nice and snug. Then would give it back. I have no need for a banhammer. Love is my weapon of choice. And boy, do I wield it well. Oh, maybe I would do domething about the ugly picture at the top left of the forum main page. Can’t that be banhammer’d into something better? Anything really.

Q: Time for some shout-outs! Who's got your back around here? Why?

A: My best buddies I consider to be James (Jammy) and Åsmund (What Name). It’s too bad we don’t get to play that often anymore (MW2, sigh). But I suppose we will again when Reach comes out? Other people I like a lot and remember playing frequently with are Sarge, Haut, Brick, Chicken. Finally I have good memories to Zero Vis, pwnasaurs (now Mallets, right?), Pilot, Dude, Henri, wes4x, MimeMonkey, Dthen and the other purple boxes (or was it cubes? lol) rjseps, joshrothathan, Wheels, Houdini and probably a few others.

And finally, a special shout out then to everyone out there following the code of conduct in the desert of morality that is xbox live.

Alright. Let’s get into those cars and shoot those guns!

Love from the Van!